Friday, May 24, 2013
For the first time, I jogged all the running parts without stopping. I felt like Rocky. I did stop jogging prematurely at one point, but that was only because I thought a guy introducing B. B. King on my playlist was my zombie trainer telling me it was time to "walk it out."
I also stopped long enough for an old guy in his yard to explain to me that the multitude of squirrels in his yard were there because there was a baby...and a momma...or something...in that big tree over there. I have a feeling I'm in for a lot more of these conversations, if he's keeping track of my running routine.
Today's music mishap occurred when "What's New Pussycat?" repeated itself. As I mentally prepared myself for a third replay, ZZ Top's "Pearl Necklace" played. Sweet. That's what's new, pussycat.
Monday, May 20, 2013
I'm repeating Week 1 this week, since I don't feel like I did Week 1 justice last week. I jogged about twice as much as I did last week, so I'm glad I'm repeating. I'm not running as much as my zombie trainer wants me to run, but he'll have to be patient.
At the recommendation of one of my runner friends, I wore two bras while running this evening: one sport bra and one regular bra. That was a good suggestion and worked great. When I got home, The Bazingas couldn't wait to bounce free. Ah, sweet relief.
Today's wildlife theme for the run was gnats and cats. Cats glared at me from a distance and gnats did their in-your-face gnatty thing at me. Annoying.
To show you how out of character a running program is for me, my mom asked my sister why I was lying on Facebook and telling people I was running. Thanks mom.
Friday, May 17, 2013
Today's "run" report. I definitely ran more than last time, but I will be repeating week one again next week. You're supposed to run three days every other day and then take two days off. I only ran Wednesday and Friday, but I'm still taking my two days off. Runner's prerogative.
Today, I saw a lot more squirrels. They must have heard about the nut running in their 'hood. I was also violently intimidated by two chihuahuas who eventually determined I wasn't a threat and briefly joined my jog. I was waved at by a young boy practicing soccer who was clearly impressed with my running. Clearly. A driver stopped for me to run across an intersection which was very cool.
For the most part, my music cooperated, but stopped after "American Idiot." Appropos, I suppose.
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Day 1 Couch to 5K: I only ran about half of what my zombie told me to run (of course, I picked the Zombie trainer), but I did run some, which is more than I've run in the last 20 years.
My music got stuck in a Lady Gaga/Nirvana/Violent Femmes loop and I wanted to poke Lady Gaga in her Po-Po-Po-Poker Face, by the time I got home. Still fun though. I'm looking forward to Day 2 which will actually be two days from now.
Thursday, March 21, 2013
If I haven’t stood up to run to the dance floor with you when your favorite line dance starts playing, that means either (a) the song isn’t doing it for me or (b) the alcohol hasn’t kicked in. Do not try to drag me to the dance floor with you. That will only succeed in making me look like an asshole, which I mostly try to avoid.
Leader of the Band
Telling me to “STAND UP!!” … “CLAP YOUR HANDS!!” … “GET MOVING!!”… isn’t going to make me stand up, clap my hands or get moving. Your constant instructions harsh my buzz and piss me off. Leave me alone while I chillax and stop trying to be the boss of me. Bossy performers give me flashbacks to the nuns in church: stand up…sing…sit down…kneel. Nuns are big buzz harshers.
Friday, February 15, 2013
CNN reporter Martin Savidge is catching a lot of flack for mentioning Hurricane Katrina to passenger Rob Kenny as a comparison to their ordeal on the Carnival Triumph. I agree that it was an unfortunate comparison, but I understand where Mr. Savidge was coming from.
We didn’t evacuate after Hurricane Ike and several times during the Carnival Triumph event, I thought their situation was comparable to our situation. They had no power. They had long lines for food, as we did for gas and water. They were disconnected from the outside world.
Although the cruise ship passengers didn’t lose their homes as some did in Katrina, when I compare their situation to the aftermath of other unfortunate events (snow storms, tornadoes, hurricanes), they also had the added elements of possibly dying at sea while surrounded by 4000 strangers and occasionally stepping into urine and poo. Other than dog accidents, our hurricane event was mostly urine and poo free. We were also in the relative comfort of our own homes rather than on the open sea sleeping in a hallway...with 4000 strangers.
Good for Rob Kenny keeping things in perspective, but Martin Savidge shouldn’t beat himself up too much. The analogy was apt. He just chose the wrong natural disaster for his comparison.
Thursday, December 13, 2012
First, lets be happy instead of envious for the attention and the assistance that the northeast is getting. Good for them.
Second, for everyone upset that their own personal flood, hurricane, farmer, earthquake, fire did not get the same attention that Hurricane Sandy is getting, you need to keep in mind that the government gives the same level of attention, such as it is, to every disaster. The media attention is directly proportional to the caliber of the celebrity who grew up in the neighborhood of the flood, hurricane, farmer, earthquake, typhoon.
If Bob Geldof, John Cougar Mellencamp or Bruce Springsteen grew up next door to you, chances are pretty good that your personal disaster would have also gotten a kick ass benefit.
So, the next time you have a flood, hurricane, earthquake, fire, mudslide, don't contact your local politician. Contact your local celebrity.
Saturday, December 08, 2012
Friday, November 09, 2012
Not everyone knows this, but the elevator lobby in my building has sort of a haunted history. As a person walks up to the elevators, they see someone get on the elevator and the doors close. The person pushes the button to call another elevator and the doors open on the elevator that just closed and nobody is in there.
This hasn't happened to me in a long time, but it happened to me at lunch today. When the doors opened and nobody was in the elevator that I just saw someone walk into, I hesitated and then walked in. As the doors closed I pushed the button for my floor and heard a loud woman's voice in the elevator behind me!
I freaked out and turned around to see a woman talking on her cell phone as she walked into the elevator from the freight door side. (One of our elevators has doors in the front and the back.) I looked at her and shouted, "You scared me!" She looked at me like I was nuts and said, "Sorry." and continued her telephone conversation.
Sorry? You scared the piss out of me and all you can say is "sorry?" How about putting that cell phone down and helping me clean up all this elevator pee?
Sunday, November 04, 2012
I was flipping channels and saw "The Roy Rogers Show" playing on the RFD channel. I put it on for a few minutes and there were Roy and Dale walking around their house cooking and, generally, doing normal household stuff with six-shooters on their hips. So gangster.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Regarding Hurricane Sandy:
of us who have experienced hurricanes and the threat of hurricanes our
whole lives understand what the folks in the northeast are going
As expected, it appears that the problems associated
with living in the path of these storms are being taken more seriously
now that a larger population is having to endure the hardships of no
power, no water, no services.
I don't care that it took a hit
on New York City to gain recognition and, hopefully, promote helpful
solutions for people dealing with these storms. Whatever it takes for
companies and people to actually work on making life easier after a
hurricane instead of just telling people they shouldn't build or live on
the coast is fine by me.
Sunday, September 23, 2012
The above two pictures were taken on the same night of the same trip to New Orleans in March of this year (2012). I recently used the picture on the left as my Facebook profile picture. Everyone was being so sweet about the loveliness of it that I started to feel guilty. I felt it was sort of false advertising.
I admit that I look pretty good for 57 (Oil of Olay), but I don't look as good as that picture on the left. Chins up, margaritas and fortunate lighting can create a lovely illusion. I'm more a combination of the two pictures. So, I created the combo picture above and posted that as my Facebook profile picture instead.
I posted it to remind everyone that in these times when everyone has a camera at their fingertips and we're all constantly being photographed, we should enjoy every minute of a perfectly lighted, accidentally great photo, but we shouldn't be too hard on ourselves for the not so great ones.
We know you don't look like the bad ones and, I hate to tell you, we also know you don't always look like the glamorous ones either. So, stop untagging and deleting the ones you don't like. It's all part of who you are and if anyone decides to stop being your friend or not date you because of an unflattering Facebook picture, you're best rid of them anyway.